It had been a long time since i last felt
the love that i truthfully wanted.
I'm not as perfect as anyone else,
but i do care about you and everything about you.

I do not have a proper job to give you support
But i'm willing to give in all i can.
No matter what i'll go through,
No matter how hard it will be,
for me to give you the best...

I'm not counting out whatever i had gave you
i never ever thought of asking anything back.
I just want to see you and your family happy.
That was what i wanted,
till i went into contemplation.

I found out that i am in love with you.
I found out that i want to love you.
I found out that you're really the one that i want.
I found out that you're the one that i want to pamper.
The one that i want to cherish.
The one i want to be with.

Till a day.. That i was so lost..
I didn't know how..
I decided to tell you how i feel.
I was doubting.. What if it was just me.
In fact it was just me.. That was what you said.

But in my heart, i know, there's something.
Something that you have yet to tell me.
That is why, i'm sad and down.
It was so painful even losing you as a friend.

My friend told me, you're making use of me.
But i trusted that you're not the kind of doing this.
I was told to give up. But all i want is to know.
What is in your heart. What you're thinking.
What you're feeling.

Now that i'm so far apart with you.. This is how i feel...
I'm but a fool... A fool that is waiting for someone...
Someone that don't even bother about me...
Thinking everyday... How is she doing...
Thinking what is the fact... The fact about your feelings..

I'm nothing but a fool...



------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hokay... Many things had happened... to me la... I'm on quite a few debts... I dont have a job... How la.. Tell me... HOW??

I need to go out more often and stop thinking about her... hahaha. seriously... HAIYO!!!

Haiyo!!! I got myself into a deep problem... Life's been like a bitch since yesterday night.. After me thinking why did i helped her so much... I'm really in love with her... Then i came home... I drank alone... Whoa... I msged her... What i felt... Till now there's still no replies... I feel like shit now... I'm going to lose a friend... Oh god...

In my heart i really love her... I'm willing to go on debts for her.. I'm willing to give her anything in any ways.. Somethings that i can never do.. But i'll always try my best.. Why must it be this way? Why must i be in love with her? It's really different from other girls that i've ever love.. This i did think about future.. I did think about how i'm gonna make her real happy and stuffs... I mean in long terms... I'm willing to accept her 2 daughters... Some friends call me crazy... Some say that they'll be happy for me..

i just hope that she'll ignore that msg and we can still be friends... Cos i think she'll be my best friend man.. It's like i know her somehow inside out and she knows me inside out... HAIYO!!! OH GOD!!! YOU BETTER BLESS ME MAN!!!

hmmm... Haven't been blogging man...

i've stayed home 2 days straight many toughts... Watching shows.. learning about life...

Indeed in life you gotta grab all chances.. But i'll never grab one if it harms my family and friends.. Never run away from pain.. Face it.. Deal with it.. You can get your way out now.. But you'll still gotta face it in future.. =))

Haven't been doing much man.. Lost my job been doing nth.. But lazing around.. Guess i really can't get a job man.. It's hard to get a job where by i'm left with my last 3 months before NS. Thats bad.. I need to finish up my bike licence.. I have quite a number of debts now..

So this is life babe... Gotta deal with it.. Sigh... That's why i totally agree... life's a bitch...!!